Clue: April Fools
by Dorshal Finn
Summary: The infamous Clue characters gather on April Fools Day. Rated PG13 for Extreme Violence and Mild Language
1. Decapitation

Clue: April Fools

Written as a play by Dorshal Finn

Based closely upon the book by A.E Parker

Cast of Characters

Miss Scarlet

Col. Mustard

Mrs. White

Mr. Green

Mrs. Peacock

Prof. Plum

Mr. Boddy

Hogarth

Dr. Black

Hogarth: Hello, guests, friends, and psychopaths. We are gathered here tonight to see a brand new mystery. Not just any old mystery, but one spiced with foul language (looks side to side and bursts outr laughing)... APRIL FOOLS! Foul Language indeed! Everyone loves humor right? I can agree. I love a little chuckle now and then. Hey! Did you hear the one about...never mind. Anyway, you may love humor, but did you know that too much can kill you? Neither did I, until I heard the spine tingling Parker Brother's CLUE mystery entitled...APRIL FOOLS. So sit back, relax, and try to stay calm. This story can be quite...let's say, tongue-in-cheek.

Curtains Open

All of the Clue guests are sitting down at a large dinning room table and have finished their dinner. They are all drinking champagne to help wash it down.

Scarlet: Oh! That was wonderful! Mr. Boddy can sure throw great dinner parties.

Mustard: Quite so! That was a jolly good feast!

Peacock: It was an absolutely pathetic feast!

Adlibs: Yelling at Mrs. Peacock.

Plum: Quiet you! It was delicious and I just can't wait to see what Mrs. White has cooked up for desert!

Green: You said it!

Scarlet: (looks about) But I wonder where Boddy is.

Green: I'm sure he'll be here any minute.

Scarlet: Well he'd better hurry. I am ready for dessert.

Green: So am I Scarlet. So...am...I. (Smiles)

Boddy, a sweet elderly man, walks into the room and stands at the end of the table and gets a serious face ready.

Boddy: Hello everyone.

Mustard: Good evening Mr. Boddy.

Adlibs: Saying hi to Mr. Boddy

Green: Dinner was wonderful sir and I am sure dessert will be just the same.

Boddy: Oh...yes. Dessert. (sighs) Well, I am afraid I have some bad news everyone. Due to a tragic mix-up, no dessert will be served this evening.

The whole crowd looks around. The all look very disappointed.

Peacock: (Sarcastic) Oh well.

Mustard: WHAT DO YOU MEAN "OH WELL"??? We are all very upset!

Plum: Yes! Quite upset. I was so looking foward to dessert.

Scarlet: As well as me!

Boddy looks around, puffs up, and then bursts out laughing.

Boddy: APRIL FOOLS!!! HEHEHEHEHEHE! Boy I had you going! You should have seen the look on your faces! HAHAHAHAHA!

Peacock: (dull) We sure were surprised.

Green: (dull) I think I fainted.

Plum: (dull) I had a heart attack.

Boddy: Well I know it was naughty of me, but I think it is good to have a little fun now and then. They say that laughter is the best medicine...and I am quite old you know.

Green: So there is dessert then?

Boddy: Oh! Yes! And now for your real dessert...Baked Alaska!

Plum: Mmmmm! My favorite!!

Boddy wrings a little bell.

Boddy: Mrs. White!!!

Mustard turns around to speak to Scarlet.

Mustard: Umm...Scarlet, before dessert starts I wanted to tell you that you ate your pheasant with the wrong fork.

Scarlet's face, instantly, turns her color.

Scarlet: I beg your pardon?

Mustard: Yes, I couldn't help but notice that you ate your pheasant with the small fork. (He holds up his own small fork to show her) This is a salad fork. The big fork is the fork you should use for the main courses like pheasant.

Scarlet: Why Col. Mustard, you ignorant cad, I guess you didn't know that pheasant is the one exception to that rule. Pheasant is always eaten with the small fork.

Mustard: Scarlet, I don't think...

Green: Please! Lets not get so unpleasant about, well, umm...a pheasant.

Peacock: Let them alone Green. I want to see who the most civil of the two is.

Scarlet scoffs at Peacock. Boddy rings the bell again.

Boddy: MRS. WHITE!!!! I can't imagine where that woman got to. She had our dessert prepared in this big silver dish!

Green points to a dish behind Boddy.

Green: You don't mean THAT silver dish, do you?

Boddy turns around.

Boddy: Oh goodness! Yes! This is it! She must have brought it out while I wasn't looking. IF I CAN HAVE EVERYONE'S ATTENTION!!!! (He puts his hand on the lid) Drumroll please!

Green drums the table with his hands.

Boddy: Presenting the Baked Ala...

Boddy pulls off the lid and reveals... WHITE'S HEAD!!! She has an apple in her mouth and is also sitting on lettuce!

Boddy: (jumps)...GOOD HEAVENS!

Mustard chokes, Plum screams, Scarlet faints into Plum's arms and so does Peacock! The two bang into each other and fall to the ground.


	2. The Arrow

After a breif pause, Green points at them all and laughs. Then the "severed" White head laughs too! At this point Boddy realizes.  
  
Boddy: (blushing) Ha. Ha. It is to laugh. You had this planned all along didn't you?  
  
White: APRIL FOOLS!!! HAHAHAHA!  
  
Soon, White pulls her head out of a secretly cut hole in the tray, and climbs out from under the table, in one piece. Everyone applauds and laughs. Green and White take a bow.  
  
Mustard: (still clapping) Jolly Good Show!!!!

Plum: (still clapping) Astounding!  
  
White: (shyly) Thank you. Green helped me rig it.  
  
Peacock: Well it wasn't that spectacular. I demand that you all stop clapping! Green is such a simpleton and you are all idiots for believing such a stupid trick! April Fools indeed! What a stupid holiday! Scarlet! Get White out of there! And Plum, get me a........  
  
Just then the lights go out. They here some one cry out in pain. When the lights come back on, Plum lay slumped in his chair with a bloody spear stuck into his head. Peacock and Scarlet both faint again. Boddy, White, and Green run over to Plum.

Green: Oh......my......god.  
  
White: Is he.......?  
  
Boddy: Well he certainly looks.......

Plum: (looks up) Boo!  
  
Boddy jumps back and trips over the two woman's' bodies. He falls to the floor. Professor Plum sits straight up again.  
  
Plum: April fools! (He pulls a weird arrow-hair band gadget off his head) You should have seen the looks on your faces!  
  
Peacock: YOU should have seen the looks on our faces. Your eyes were closed. Idiot.  
  
Plum: Oh yes. Quite right. Quite right.  
  
Boddy gets up off the floor.  
  
Boddy: Oh my! You people are just TOO good at this. Wow! (feels his heart) Good, still beating. All this excitement makes me hungry.  
  
Peacock: Me too. Yoo-hoo, maid!  
  
White: My name is not "yoo-hoo maid", you pompous.........  
  
Boddy: (interupting) What Mrs. Peacock means to say is, could you kindly bring out the Baked Alaska?  
  
White: Certainly. (to Peacock) Humph!  
  
White storms away.


	3. Blood Red

Mustard starts to jabber again.  
  
Mustard: Now remember Scarlet, you are supposed to eat your dessert with the with the LITTLE spoon.  
  
Scarlet: (scoffs) All wrong! It's the LARGE spoon you dim-witted brute!  
  
Mustard: Oh ho ho no. It is DEFINETLY the small one you uncivilized fiend!  
  
Scarlet: No, it's the large one, just.... like.... you!  
  
Mustard: It's the small one you ass!  
  
Scarlet slaps him across the face. Mustard seems shocked.  
  
Mustard: HOW DARE YOU! THIS IS WAR! (grabs a lead pipe off the table and looks at her psychotically) You must NEVER strike a commanding officer in the face!  
  
Scarlet: Oops.

Scarlet runs out of the room. He chases her out the door. The other guests gasp, adlib "Oh my goodness" or "Good God" and follow out the door, trying to stop him.  
  
Green: Stop at once Colonel!  
  
Plum: I say, you could kill her with that!  
  
Mustard stops, and looks at Plum.  
  
Mustard: I plan to.  
  
Mustard starts to run again.  
  
Boddy: AFTER HIM!!!!  
  
Mustard chases Scarlet into the Ballroom and she slides into a corner. She gulps. Mustard raises his lead pipe. Outside, the guests are trying to get in, but the door is locked. So, they try to break into the room.  
  
Boddy: Unlock this door at once!  
  
Peacock: Col. Mustard if you don't open this door, I'll kill you!  
  
All the guests look at Peacock.  
  
Peacock: Well, I said "IF".  
  
Suddenly, they all hear Scarlet scream and then a loud thud. Boddy finally gets the door open. Mustard is standing in front of Scarlet's limp body, a pool of dark red blood is spreading.

Green: (gasping) She's in poor condition!

Boddy: (gagging) Good Heavens.  
  
Plum: I must go and fetch the doctor!

Plum picks up Scarlet's body.

Peacock: No no! What are you doing?!

Plum: I'm taking her body to the lounge.

Peacock: Not without supervision you're not! I don't trust any of you odd people! Who knows what sort of things a heathan proffessor could do to her corpse! I'm coming with you.

Plum: Fine. Fine. Suit yourself.

Exit Plum and Peacock.

Boddy: I'll call the police! I'll call the police!!!  
  
Exit Boddy, Enter White  
  
White: Hello everyone. I just went to the hall to get you your dessert, and........ (sees the blood splattered everywhere and drops the Baked Alaska onto the floor)..... Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (looks at Green and Mustard) BLOOD! IT'S EVERYWHERE! What the bloody hell is going on in here?

Green: Mustard has attacked Scarlet over a stupid spoon (Seizes Mustard) You're coming with me!  
  
Mustard: WHAT?! How dare you touch me! (Slaps Green in the face with his glove) I challenge you to a duel sir!


	4. The Battle Ends

White: No Colonel!

Mustard: Shut up you old broad!

He grabs the lead pipe off the table. Green grabs the candle stick off another table. They begin to fence. Mustard swings and Green ducks, causing Mustard to crash into a wall mirror. Green swings, but misses and hit's a lamp instead.

White: Cease this mindless fighting! (Mustard swings the pipe at her, but she ducks) Ahhhhhhhh!

Mustard swings but Green blocks and then counters with a blow to the back. Mustard falls limp to the floor. White gasps, and then bends down to feel his pulse. She shakes her head and lets go of his wrist, but Mustard's hand stays up in the air. White and Green gasp, and Mustard starts laughing. Mustard rises up off the floor.

Green: (pushing Mustard down) Hold it you! Hold it right there!

Mustard: (still laughing) Green, I think Mrs. Peacock was right for a change! You are a simpleton.

Green: What do you mean?

Mustard: It was all an April Fools prank!

Green: What?

Mustard: Me and Scarlet pretended to fight all night to build up a fake battle. Then she played dead while I sprinkled red dye all over the place.

Green: Oh! I see! That's why the door was locked!

Mustard: Yes.

Green and White sigh in relief.

White: Oh, Col. Mustard! You really had us going there!

Mustard: I know I did. I especially liked the (mimicing White) "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!".

Green: (laughs) Alright. Come on guys. Lets go do some damage control.

Mustard: To whom?

Green: Excuse me?

Mustard: I mean, who do you want to bump off?

Green: No, no, no Colonel. Not that kind of damage control, we must tell the others.

Mustard: Oh.

Green: You go inform Mr. Boddy, while I go see Prof. Plum.

Mustard: Got it. Umm...what about Mrs. White?

White: I need to go.

Mustard: So soon? The party's just begun, and we still need dessert. You're staying right here with us Mrs. White!

White: No, I mean I need to GO. And when you need to go, you need to go, you know.

Mustard: Oh...I see. Carry on then (smiles).

Plum is in the Study talking to a Doctor on the phone.

Plum: (on phone) Yes Doctor. Tudor Close, and please hurry! Scarlet may only have seconds to live!

A long hand with shiny red nails taps his shoulder.

Plum: (off phone) Just a second Scarlet. (on phone) Hold on a second. (off Phone) SCARLET! YOUR'E ALIVE! (on Phone) False Alarm.

Hangs up.

Scarlet: April fools!

Plum: Scarlet! You scared the dickens out of me! Where's Mrs. Peacock?

Boddy opens the door.

Boddy: The phone in the other room is dead so I...(sees Scarlet) SCARLET!! You're ALIVE!!!

Green bursts into the room!

Green: No! Mr. Boddy! Stop! Mustard is innocent!

Boddy: He is?

Green: It was all an April Fools joke.

Plum: But the blood, we all saw it.

Scarlet: That was dye. It's true. Me and the Colonel planned it all.

Boddy: Well...that was a very good trick. You both had us going. Really going. You're both lucky our phone calls didn't go through.

Green: Yeah. Then (points to Scarlet) _you'd_ be in the mourge and the Colonel would be in jail.

Boddy: Okay. Now I want you all to promise that we won't...

Mustard suddenly bursts into the room.

Mustard: No! Stop! I'm innocent!

All: We know!

Mustard: You see, the blood was dye!

All: We know!!

Mustard: It was all an April Fools joke.

Plum pulls out a gun.

Plum: Not anymore! Stand back everyone! I am tired of this nonsense. It is truly getting on my nerves. (Scrolls down the guests with the gun) So I am going to end these silly pranks once and for all.

Scarlet: You've got to be joking.

He shoots the Gun and smoke comes out! Scarlet collapses. Everyone Screams.

Plum: (Sarcastic) Ha. Ha. Ha.


	5. April Fools?

When the smoke clears a bang sign is sticking out of the gun. Scarlet slowly wakes up, and begins to laugh.  
  
Plum and Scarlet: APRIL FOOLS!  
  
Boddy: (feeling his heart) Oh my Lord! I think I am done for the day! (Wipes his brow) Whew! Lets promise not to do any more pranks for tonight, okay?

Green: (sarcastic) Yeah. That's a promise.

Boddy: Oh my. This excitment reminds me, I have to take my medicine. (He whips out pills)  
  
Mustard: Heavens Boddy, I'm surprised you haven't caught on after so many pranks!  
  
Boddy: Well, you can fool me once, you can fool me twice, and then you only have to fool me a couple of more times until I figure you out! Col. Mustard, you are a murderer!

The whole room gasps, looks at Mustard, and then is silent for a few seconds.  
  
Mustard: (Panicing) No! I swear! It was self defense! They had it coming anyway! (Pulls out his lead pipe) I didn't do it! I didn't do it I tell you! I was framed! You'll never take me alive!!! Never!!! I'll get you!!! I'll get you all!!!! And it'll look like a bloody accide........wait. Ummm...what murder are you refurring to anyway?  
  
Boddy: (puffs up and bursts out) HAHA! I GOT YOU!!!! You look like a cherry! Your face is all red!!! HAHA! You're not Col. Mustard! You're Col. Heinz!!!!! HAHAHAHA!  
  
Mustard: Why you bloody son of a..........  
  
Boddy: HAHA! APRIL..........  
  
Mustard: I swear to God, if you say it I'll..........  
  
Boddy.........FOOLS! HAHAHAHAHA!  
  
All guests, except Mustard, burst out laughing too. White then comes into the room.  
  
White: Why are you all laughing!? You should be on the phone!!!!  
  
Scarlet: Why?!  
  
White: Mrs. Peacock of course!!!!

Scarlet: What about her?

White: While I was.....well........ in the little girls' room, I went to go see if Mrs. Peacock was alright. Everyone forgot about her, poor dear. I ran to the lounge and found her.........dead!!!  
  
Scarlet: Haha. Very funny.  
  
White: This is no joke!!!  
  
Green: Yes of course.  
  
White: But how would I pull off a joke? Mrs. Peacock HATES April Fools day!

Everyone pauses to think.  
  
Plum: My God! She's right! To the lounge!!!  
  
All the suspects run down the hall to the Lounge where Peacock was. And there she lay. Dead, with a stream of blood running from her head. Plum walks over, bends down, and feels her pulse.  
  
Plum: (picks up hand) Yes. This time, no joke, (drops hand, slumps to floor) she's dead.  
  
The whole crowd gasps.

White: Awww. The poor dear.  
  
Scarlet: I knew she was rude, but rude enough for someone to KILL her?  
  
Mustard: I knew all this joking would lead to disaster.  
  
Boddy: I'll go call the Doctor!  
  
Green: Good Idea.  
  
Exit Boddy.  
  
White: Maybe it was an accident?  
  
Scarlet: THAT ain't no accident.  
  
Mustard: Of course not. A person inflicted these wounds. No accident could have done this. Not at all.

White: Aw....I'd hate to think that somebody here would have done this to her.

Scarlet: (pointing to White) It could have just as easily been you!!

Mustard: Now, Scarlet. It's no good pointing fingers. We have to logically figure out whodunit.

Plum walks away and begins thinking.

Scarlet: Well, you got me!  
  
White: The very idea!

Green: I don't know.

Mustard: Well of course we don't know! We all had the proper motives for killing the old bitty!

Green: And even still, we were all out of this room at one time or another leaving whole gaps of time for the murder to take place.

Scarlet: Great! It's impossible to find out which of you did it!

Mustard: (Getting in her face) What do you mean "which of you did it"?

White: (Joining in) You said yourself it could have easily been anybody!

Scarlet: Correction. I said it could have easily been YOU!

White: Why you horrid thing you!

White pulls out a candlestick from her apron and gestures to hit Scarlet on the head with it. Plum suddlenly comes out his thinking spot and tries to calm White down.

Plum: PLEASE! Calm down! Scarlet! Stop tourmenting White! And White, please put that ghastly thing away. I have figured out another way to solve the murder.  
  
Green: You really think........  
  
Plum: Yes.  
  
Green: Everyone! Plum knows what to do!  
  
White: (Putting the stick away) REALLY?!  
  
Plum: Of course. I am a proffesor you know.  
  
Mustard: Jolly Good!  
  
Plum: But, I do need a chalk board.  
  
White: Mr. Boddy keeps one in the closet!  
  
Plum: Splendid! Bring it here.

White: (White opens the closet with a key) Oh, Plum! There's chalk in the desk, dearie.

Mustard and Green carry out a large chalkboard from the closet. Plum opens up a desk drawer and pulls out some chalk.  
  
Mustard: I hope you're right about this Plum.  
  
Plum: Oh, Don't worry. Don't worry. This is sure to work.  
  
Scarlet: It had better!  
  
Plum: Ok. This method should work wonderfully. Now, we may all have had motives, weapons and oppertunities, but there is one thing that one person had that the rest didn't.

Green: What is that?

Plum: Time.

Green: For what?

Plum: For plotting a scheme like this. You see, everyone here played a prank, but some of us did lesser or plotted things a little simpler than the others. You cannot plot a murder with other plans on your mind. That is, unless you're really good. And let's face it, none of us here are any good.

Green and White nod their heads.

Scarlet: But, if that is the case, it could have been Mr. Boddy. He lives here for goodness sake. This gives him lots of time to plan this out. Plus, his April fools pranks weren't even pranks. Just REALLY bad jokes.

Green: But I do have to admit, that one with Mustard was pretty funny.

Mustard: Quiet you!

Plum: Miss Scarlet, Mr. Boddy's jokes were bad because he is 95 years old. And if his jokes were bad, how do you think his plans would turn out?

Mustard: (to Scarlet) He has a point love.

Plum: Besides, even if he did make a good scheme, what makes you think a 95 year old man could break open a woman's head?

Scarlet: I guess you're right.

Plum: Okay. Now that Mr. Boddy is out of the way, I will write the other suspects onto the chalk board. (He does) I shall put a tally mark next to each person's name for each prank they pulled. First off.......we all met in the dining room and ate our dinner (makes eating sounds). Soon, we are blown away by an ELABORATLEY done "severed head trick"!  
  
White: (relieved) I WAS IN THAT!!  
  
Plum: Yes and so was Mr. Green!  
  
Green: Yes! I was wasn't I?  
  
Plum: That's one for Green and White (slash, slash). Remember what happens next?  
  
Scarlet: You stab yourself in the head!  
  
Plum: Yes! That's one for me (slash)! Ok. Next, Miss Scarlet and Col. Mustard run off to the Ballroom and.......

Mustard: Play our prank!!!  
  
Plum: RIGHT! One for Scarlet and one for Mustard (slash, slash).  
  
Mustard: That's Col. Mustard to you!  
  
Plum: Sorry. Anyway, the next prank, Col. Mustard's death, belonged to Col. Mustard (slash).  
  
Mustard: Quite so.  
  
Plum: Oh and the prank I pulled with Miss Scarlet. (slash, slash) I think that's all?  
  
Scarlet: Yes, unless you count the one Mr. Boddy played...........  
  
Green: You mean the joke about Col. Mustard?  
  
Scarlet: Of course the joke about Col. Mustard you Neanderthal!  
  
Plum: Oh yes. Thank you for reminding me! I shall need that later. Then disaster. Mrs. Peacock is killed.


	6. Conclusion

Green: So who killed her?

Plum: Well lets check our chart and figure this out.

White: Even a maid could figure that out!

Plum: (reads the chart and starts looks at White) A maid like you?

White: Excuse me?

Plum: You are the one who killed her.

The whole crowd gasps.

White: What? I did not! How could you say that?

Plum: Very easily ma'am.

White: How?

Plum: Well, first point, you only played one prank tonight!

White: Yes...but...it was a difficult prank!

Plum: That's funny.

White: No it's not. It's serious.

Plum: No. I don't mean "That's funny" as in "Ha Ha" funny, I mean "That's funny" as in "That's odd".

Mustard: What's odd about it Plum?

Plum: Well, I beleive I recall White saying that Green helped her rig it. That gives _most_ of the work to Green, doesn't it?

Green: That's right! I did help you White!

White: Well I...

Plum: Second point. You are Mr. Boddy's maid correct?

White: Yes I am. But I don't see what...

Plum: Well, we had said earlier that Mr. Boddy had plenty of time to scheme up a plan because this is his house. But, it could just as easily have been you too.

Scarlet: Yes I see! She lives here as well!

White: (To Plum) But wouldn't you have heard Mrs. Peacock scream? I am old as well. I couldn't kill her in one hit.

Plum: But this is where Mr. Boddy's joke about Col. Mustard comes in. You must have killed Mrs. Peacok while Col. Mustard was ranting. You see, you were not in the room with us, and the Colonel was shouting pretty loud.

Green: And we were laughing pretty loud as well.

White: (to Plum) What was my motive then Sherlock?

Plum: Mrs. Peacock had always treated you like an possesion when she came to visit. Like a lower servant or a slave.

White: She treated me like a piece of dirt! Me and all of my dear friends (presents the other guests) I hated her so much I could have...

Mustard: Killed her?

Green: So it is true?!

Plum: Let her show you for herself. Mrs. White, please pull out that candlestick you had earlier. I want to give it a closer look.

White pulls out a bloody candlestick from her apron. The whole crowd steps back, Scarlet screams, Green and Mustard gasp. Plum looks cross.

White: Yes it was me, with the candlestick, in the lounge. I really did DESPISE that woman. She was very rude and a snob. Always making fun of us. Never showing me or Mr. Boddy any gratitude for all we had done for her. I know why she was friends with Mr. Boddy. It was just to get his fortune when he dies. That's all she cared about. HIS MONEY! She had to be done away with. So I had this whole thing set up for a while. You know. Friends visit. Find an opportunity. WHACK! Right into her "poor, sensetive skull". You see, I knew Mr. Boddy loved playing April Fools jokes and would invite you all here. So while he and all of you were busy having your "fun", (strokes the candlestick) I had mine. And, I still managed to pull off the biggest April Fools prank of them all.

Mustard: How so?

White: I must have fooled you all or this wouldn't have been such a mystery.

Green: Ah, yes.

Plum: But you have so many witnesses to this! You could be arrested if we go to the authorities! That is, unless you poisoned our brandy or something silly like that. (all laugh)

White: Oh no Proffesor. I would never poison all of you. You are innocent. Mrs. Peacock is the one who had to pay. I know what I did was wrong and, truth be told, I want to be punished.

Green: Whew! That's a relief.

Plum: That's very civil of you White.

Mustard: Quite so.

White: Hehehe.

Scarlet: What's so funny?!

White: Hehehe! Hahahaha!

Scarlet: Come on! Speak up!!

White: Muwahahaha! April Fools. (all gasp) I pickled your drinks with cyanide right before dinner.

All the guests look at each other and then clutch their throats.

White: I figured it was better to be safe than sorry (giggles). I think it _should _take effect right about...hmmm...now lets see...(looks at the clock)...now.

They all gasp for air. They start breathing very heavily. The noise fills the whole room as they scramble around like ants. And then suddenly, they stop breathing altogether.

Plum: (breathless) Oh dear! I didn't see this coming.

THUD! Plum, Scarlet, Green, and Mustard all tumble to the floor.

White: (sarcastic) Anyone for seconds?

White walks over to one of the guests and kicks them to make sure they are really dead. Suddenly Boddy walks into the room.

Boddy: Everyone, I couldn't get a hold of...(sees everyone but White, on the floor) good God! White! What happened to all of them?!

White: (innocently) They aren't wounded at all! There must have been something wrong with the brandy!

Boddy: Oh dear!! I didn't like the taste of that stuff to begin with, that's why I gave the rest of mine to you.

White: (breathless) WHAT!?

Boddy: I said I gave the rest of mine to...

THUD! White's body falls to the ground.

Boddy: White? White?

His face turns pale. Boddy feels his pulse.

Boddy: Oh dear. Now I see.

THUD! He falls to the ground as well.

After a pause, the mansion door opens and a small little man with a mustache, stethoscope and small beady eyes walks in. This is Doctor Black.

Black: Mr. Boddy! Mr. Boddy! It's Doctor Black! You called me up earlier! I'm here to pick up Mrs. Peacock!

Black walks into the Hall and looks about.

Black: Whew. This is one huge house! (Yells up the staircase) HELLO?!

There is an echo. Black walks over to the lounge door and knocks on it.

Black: Mr. Boddy, are you here? (Opens the door and walks in) Mr. Boddy, I...

Black sees all of the Clue characters dead on the floor. He stops dead in his tracks and gasps.

Black: Oh my. We're going to need a bigger hearse.

Blackout

Hogarth steps out.

Hogarth: So you see, the moral to this story is, while it's fun to joke around, too much joking is a good way to get hurt... or even MURDERED! Muwhahahaha! (Sighs) What a night.(Beat) Now everyone, if you excuse me, I must to get back to the mansion and clean. Dead bodies are most defiantly, untidy. (Smiles evily).

Blackout.

THE END


End file.
